A Seat At The Table

Do you remember your favorite dinner party? Maybe it was a birthday dinner, Thanksgiving, or other holiday dinner. If you closed your eyes and relived it, what do you remember? Chances are it's not grandma's mac and cheese or mom's famous cornbread that you remember as the thing that stands out in your mind, but instead it's probably the people that you were surrounded by and the conversation that accompanied them. Conversations can change everything. You learn a lot about people when you share a meal with them. Their personality. How they behave. What they say. How they act. How they react. All of these things give us an insight into who it is that we’re sitting across from at the table.

Sometimes, we are put in situations where we sit at the table with people that we didn't necessarily expect. Do you remember the story of the woman who texted the wrong number inviting him to Thanksgiving? 7 years ago Wanda Dench sent a text to who she thought was her grandson and instead started a conversation with a stranger. At the end of the exchange, Jamal Hinton asked to still get a plate, and the grandma said "of course." See images below and the full story here. What I loved about this exchange is that though it wasn't expected, Wanda welcome Jamal with open arms. What's even better is that since their initial dinner, now 7 years later they are still getting together and doing Thanksgiving and more throughout the years.

What would happen if we all kept a seat at our table open for someone unexpected? Have you thought about what your life could be like if you made room for someone you didn't necessarily plan to have around? The conversations, the people, the impact - all of those are reasons to step outside of your comfort zone and extend an invite to someone new.

Jesus did just that. Jesus loved a dinner party. He was always at someone’s house having a meal. Why? I think that Jesus knew that meals are a mission field. He knew the power of gathering and the community surrounding it. & Jesus wasn't afraid to have a meal with people that others wouldn't necessarily invite to their own table. We can learn a lot about making room for others by reading about the different people that Jesus had at His table.

4 People Jesus Had At His Table

1. THE OSTRACIZED TAX COLLECTORS - MATTHEW (LEVI)

“Later, as Jesus left the town, he saw a tax collector named Levi sitting at his tax collector’s booth. “Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him. So Levi got up, left everything, and followed him. Later, Levi held a banquet in his home with Jesus as the guest of honor. Many of Levi’s fellow tax collectors and other guests also ate with them. But the Pharisees and their teachers of religious law complained bitterly to Jesus’ disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with such scum?” Jesus answered them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.”” Luke 5:27-32 NLT

It doesn’t sound like much, but Matthew and other tax collectors like him were hated by their culture. They were seen as sellouts by their culture and were known for making a profit off of their own people as they collected taxes for the Roman Empire. In today's terms this would probably be equivalent to a member of the IRS. I don't know about you, but I haven't ever invited a member of the IRS to my dinner table. But Jesus, He loves to pursue people who are ostracized.

We all know those people that turn up on a Saturday night and then show up on Sunday morning like nothing happened. We tend to have this habit to consider them “fake” or not Christian enough, and almost turn them away from us. While we might judge them “sellouts” to culture, Jesus would still pursue them and welcome them with open arms. What I’ve found as true in my college days is that I used to be more like those "half in/half out" kind of people. I probably lived a life that others didn’t comprehend, or even hated. Thankfully, I had good Christian friends who would always do their best to point me in the right direction, but never forced me along with them. Ultimately, the more I got around them, the more I wanted to be like them. It was natural.

I imagine Matthew (formally Levi) inviting his other tax collector friends to this banquet with Jesus. I don’t envision Matthew walking around rebuking his friends, but saying “hey come meet my new friend Jesus,” and believing that their lives would transform as his did. That’s the light of God. In my case from college, that light shown through them was attractive to me — I wanted a deeper relationship with Jesus like they had. It started with one person deciding they weren’t going to force me to change in a moment, but by metaphorically saying “follow me,” just as Jesus said to Matthew, I began a new journey.

When we make room for those who have been left out, we ultimately say "you matter." Those who may not have a welcome seat anywhere else, should at least know that they have a welcome seat with you.

2. THE SINNERS - THE “IMMORAL” WOMAN

“One of the Pharisees asked Jesus to have dinner with him, so Jesus went to his home and sat down to eat. When a certain immoral woman from that city heard he was eating there, she brought a beautiful alabaster jar filled with expensive perfume. Then she knelt behind him at his feet, weeping. Her tears fell on his feet, and she wiped them off with her hair. Then she kept kissing his feet and putting perfume on them. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know what kind of woman is touching him. She’s a sinner!” Then Jesus answered his thoughts. “Simon,” he said to the Pharisee, “I have something to say to you.” “Go ahead, Teacher,” Simon replied. Then Jesus told him this story: “A man loaned money to two people—500 pieces of silver to one and 50 pieces to the other. But neither of them could repay him, so he kindly forgave them both, canceling their debts. Who do you suppose loved him more after that?” Simon answered, “I suppose the one for whom he canceled the larger debt.” “That’s right,” Jesus said. Then he turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Look at this woman kneeling here. When I entered your home, you didn’t offer me water to wash the dust from my feet, but she has washed them with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You didn’t greet me with a kiss, but from the time I first came in, she has not stopped kissing my feet. You neglected the courtesy of olive oil to anoint my head, but she has anointed my feet with rare perfume. “I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.” Then Jesus said to the woman, “Your sins are forgiven.” The men at the table said among themselves, “Who is this man, that he goes around forgiving sins?” And Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”” Luke 7:36-50 NLT

I think it’s really hard to sometimes sit at table with someone when you don’t feel like you’re worthy enough to. Especially when forgiveness is in the balance. I can only imagine how this woman felt. Everyone knew her story, and I’m sure she craved a second chance at being forgiven. She took her best perfume, broke it, and offered it before the Lord. When we understand the forgiveness that God has given us through Jesus, we are moved to fall at His feet and serve Him in ways that look foolish to those who have not yet understood Christ’s forgiveness.

Forgiveness is one of the best gifts we can ever receive, yet it oftentimes can be the hardest gift to give to others. In every friendship that we are a part of, there will come a time when we are pushed to the limits. Feelings will be hurt, words will be said that are offensive, and actions will be done or not done that will cause us heartache. When those moments come, there is always a choice to forgive. Forgiveness is key to any working relationship because we are flawed and make mistakes. Although it can be hard, it is the glue that keeps relationships together. However, forgiveness doesn’t just hold the relationship together, it strengthens it. When we forgive or are forgiven of any mistake, big or small, we grow in love for the one who has forgiven us.

Is there someone in your life that you need to forgive? Is it you that needs to be forgiven? How can you make room for forgiveness this season?

3. THE RELIGIOUS - PHARISEES

“As Jesus was speaking, one of the Pharisees invited him home for a meal. So he went in and took his place at the table. His host was amazed to see that he sat down to eat without first performing the hand-washing ceremony required by Jewish custom. Then the Lord said to him, “You Pharisees are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and wickedness! Fools! Didn’t God make the inside as well as the outside? So clean the inside by giving gifts to the poor, and you will be clean all over.” - Luke 11:37-41 NLT

These were the people in charge of leading the nation of Israel - a nation that God had specifically chosen to be his people who would bless the whole world. While sitting with these leaders, he didn’t commend them for their great leadership. Instead, Jesus goes on to rebuke them in ways they were falling short of what they were truly called to do. Here's a summary of Jesus’ rebuke of these leaders from the remainder of the chapter:

• They looked good on the outside but were wicked on the inside.

• They obeyed part of God’s commands, but they ignored the most important things.

• They cared only about themselves and how other people saw them.

• They were hurting the people they were supposed to be helping.

• They pointed out people's sins but never helped them.

• They celebrated God’s messengers, who their families had put to death.

• They kept people from knowing who God was and what his kingdom was about.

Now hear me, I’m not saying that this holiday season that you go and rebuke your relatives around the dinner table (I’ve tried that and man, it went poorly). What I am trying to show you is that Jesus didn’t shy away from hard conversations. We’re all going to be put in a situation where we’re uncomfortable. We’re all going to have to have a hard conversation with someone. Maybe it’s to put up boundaries or maybe it’s to share a hurt.

I’m currently reading "Good Boundaries and Goodbyes" by Lysa TerKeurst and wow, what it’s shown me is powerful. You might have a family member or a friend that didn’t live up to your expectations of how they should act. Maybe your older sibling left you to fend for yourself. Maybe a friend hid something from you that hurt deeply when you found out. What we naturally want to do is just avoid the situation and run from it. Or even act like it doesn't hurt us. But what Jesus shows us in this scripture is that we should be able to have the hard conversations, point out the hurt or wrong, and make a request for change. Boundaries are biblical. Boundaries are not just a good idea, they're a God idea.

When we can have hard conversations and create healthy boundaries, we're able to have people at our table that otherwise we would "cut off." Now of course, some people shouldn't sit at our table for either our safety or our sanity, but my heart to you is this: don't let having a hard conversation with someone keep them from being in your life.

4. THE LOVED ONES - DISCIPLES

“When the time came, Jesus and the apostles sat down together at the table. Jesus said, “I have been very eager to eat this Passover meal with you before my suffering begins. For I tell you now that I won’t eat this meal again until its meaning is fulfilled in the Kingdom of God.” Then he took a cup of wine and gave thanks to God for it. Then he said, “Take this and share it among yourselves. For I will not drink wine again until the Kingdom of God has come.” He took some bread and gave thanks to God for it. Then he broke it in pieces and gave it to the disciples, saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” After supper he took another cup of wine and said, “This cup is the new covenant between God and his people—an agreement confirmed with my blood, which is poured out as a sacrifice for you. “But here at this table, sitting among us as a friend, is the man who will betray me. For it has been determined that the Son of Man must die. But what sorrow awaits the one who betrays him.” The disciples began to ask each other which of them would ever do such a thing. Then they began to argue among themselves about who would be the greatest among them. Jesus told them, “In this world the kings and great men Lord it over their people, yet they are called ‘friends of the people.’ But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant. Who is more important, the one who sits at the table or the one who serves? The one who sits at the table, of course. But not here! For I am among you as one who serves. “You have stayed with me in my time of trial. And just as my Father has granted me a Kingdom, I now grant you the right to eat and drink at my table in my Kingdom. And you will sit on thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.” - Luke 22:14-30 NLT

“As he spoke, he showed them his hands and his feet. Still they stood there in disbelief, filled with joy and wonder. Then he asked them, “Do you have anything here to eat?” They gave him a piece of broiled fish, and he ate it as they watched. Then he said, “When I was with you before, I told you that everything written about me in the law of Moses and the prophets and in the Psalms must be fulfilled.” Then he opened their minds to understand the Scriptures. And he said, “Yes, it was written long ago that the Messiah would suffer and die and rise from the dead on the third day. It was also written that this message would be proclaimed in the authority of his name to all the nations, beginning in Jerusalem: ‘There is forgiveness of sins for all who repent.’ You are witnesses of all these things.” - Luke 24:40-48 NLT

While Jesus was known to have all types of people around his table, it's important that we don't forget that he also gathered those close to Him too. Both of these scriptures show Jesus gathering with His disciples, but one happened before his death, and the other after His resurrection. What I love about both of these scriptures is that both times, Jesus' disciples struggled with initial doubt. At the Last Supper, they questioned themselves who would betray Jesus, and after the resurrection, they were in disbelief that Jesus was even in front of them. Even so, Jesus still chose them to be close to Him. Our own loved ones aren't perfect, but we still choose them. This holiday season, let's not forget to show as much love to our friends and family as we would to others. I think it's easy to get into a rhythm of outreach and serving our community and forget those we're consistently surrounded by.

There's a reason Jesus chose to sit and have a meal with all types of people, and there's so much we can learn from Him. Who are you inviting to the table? Who have you prepared a seat for? Let's make room for others this season. Your simple invitation might leave a bigger impact than you can even imagine.